The party was well crazy and Everything was loud and crowded. I and three of my very favourite people ever sat around away from the noise because it was all a bit much cause of what we took and it was amazing and I felt sooo good and fuck I love them so much.

Yes, well I'm having a party tomorrow and everything is going to get broken and dirtied so of course in preparation I cleaned up. I don't know what to do now. Since I've been very sad and very stressed and very anxious for the last few days, I thought it was time for a little ball park music. "Good choice Jacinta," I hear you say, "yes, it's true, it's true," I reply and then we fly into the yonder.

For realzies though, I haven't been going very well. I'm desperate to get better, I'm very tired of being sad. It's exhausting. I used to be a very happy guy and the last two years have just been like, oh lawdy. Loads of horrible things have happened, loads of horrible emotions also have surfaced. I'm tempted to write about some things but some stuff is quite private and I'm worried someone I know might see this or I might trigger someone.

I have been drawing again lately, after a while of doing nothing but sit in bed and look blank. So, that's great. And I'm pleased.

Anyway, I'd better go watch misfits, you know how it is

Yes. I think so.

Today I woke up at 3pm after staying up all night with some people I like and some people that aren't so good. Drugs and drinking and ball park music. I've been drawing and sitting around and watching the father ted. I haven't been eating very much and I've been tired and I seem to be breaking in the literal sense hah.

Today is a day for watching the it crowd in bed with Hamish, that guy that I love.

Oh my larks

This has been such a long morning. It's 6am and I'm coming down alone on a station because the people that are usually there to comedown with are being well boring. I keep crying, I was so lonely. Like proper lonely, the kind of lonely where you feel sorry for yourself and then you feel bad about feeling sorry for yourself and try to get it together. I miss my boyfriend, he's at home asleep. And I went to the only bakery I could find that was opened and I bought him a custard tart. And it only just occurred to me that he won't be able to eat it while its hot. Lame.

Speed on a Monday morning is not a habit I want to get into.

I want to sleep sooooo bad. I guess I'll just shower and watch father yes instead. Aw yeah summer Monday mornings