Jbefuobhjksjk :(

I haven't been feeling so swell lately. I've been restricting again so I'm not eating a lot. I'm weak and tired but I'm going better than last time. Or worse, depending in how you look at it. I feel much more in control. It's kind of natural now, and I think that might be bad. I'm always in two minds about this, I want to stop and do better simultaneously. Uh. Everyone's all on my case about counsellors and food and suspicious whenever I'm in the bathroom for a second too long. It's hard.

On top of all those shenanigans, I'm doing twelve hour days at my course. I also need a lot more money if I'm going to move out which means longer days. I don't know if I can do it. I feel like I'm physically breaking. It's just a good thing I've got five seasons of 30 Rock.

But I do have a driving test in a week!
Driving + Jacinta = yes

Yes, well I'm having a party tomorrow and everything is going to get broken and dirtied so of course in preparation I cleaned up. I don't know what to do now. Since I've been very sad and very stressed and very anxious for the last few days, I thought it was time for a little ball park music. "Good choice Jacinta," I hear you say, "yes, it's true, it's true," I reply and then we fly into the yonder.

For realzies though, I haven't been going very well. I'm desperate to get better, I'm very tired of being sad. It's exhausting. I used to be a very happy guy and the last two years have just been like, oh lawdy. Loads of horrible things have happened, loads of horrible emotions also have surfaced. I'm tempted to write about some things but some stuff is quite private and I'm worried someone I know might see this or I might trigger someone.

I have been drawing again lately, after a while of doing nothing but sit in bed and look blank. So, that's great. And I'm pleased.

Anyway, I'd better go watch misfits, you know how it is

Today I woke up at 3pm after staying up all night with some people I like and some people that aren't so good. Drugs and drinking and ball park music. I've been drawing and sitting around and watching the father ted. I haven't been eating very much and I've been tired and I seem to be breaking in the literal sense hah.

Today is a day for watching the it crowd in bed with Hamish, that guy that I love.

yes

It's 12:43am, way past my bedtime, and i feel kind of sick so i can't get to sleep. To deal with this situation i decided it would be best for me to write a post on here. I warn you it will be desperately boring so i understand if you wish to quickly close this page while you have the chance- i won't be offended. Mostly because i won't know, which is why this is such a good opportunity for you to ignore me without any feeling getting hurt! This is a very stupid post. Hmm...
I have to go back to school on monday. Lame. But on the bright side- last year of school! Next time i study it'll be something i actually want to be learning about! Well, i suppose i'd better leave before i write something even more pointless than the afore mentioned stupid